I am currently sitting in my living room, listening to great music coming from my office. As I look into my office, I see two of the greatest men in there, playing and enjoying music. It makes me feel special to know both of them. One is my husband, the other is a great, great friend, the kind you long for and rarely find. I am very, very blessed. Watching the two of them interact is heart warming, knowing of their love for God and for using their gifts to bring glory to God, how could I not feel this way? They both love God and want to give their best to Him. I love that in both of them, their passion and fire for God, their desire for greatness for God. I am grateful to know such men and fortunate and extremely blessed to call one my husband and the other my friend, my brother in Christ.
Seeing how God has brought us together, how God has brought people into my life, is extraordinary. And I am not referring to just any person, but the people that God needs me to have in my life. The ones that will keep me on the right path, walking toward Him and keeping me looking ever upward. People who love me for who I am, not for some expectation or certain condition that I need to meet. People who show me God's love and grace. I have so many people in my life right now that are from God and to name them all, well, let's just say it would take some time. I am grateful for each and everyone. I thank God for you each day, to have the opportunity to have you in my life, to be blessed by you. Thank you!!!
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
What is 'it'? (part 2)
So, I've been thinking about this whole phrase "bring it". Now, I am sure if I was privy to the original conversations, I would know exactly what 'it' is, however, I was not. Still, using the word 'it' to describe something that you do not know much about is pretty inane.
And now I am beginning to see a whole other 'it'. An 'it' that involves one's personal attitude and opinion. So, when being told to bring 'it', they do. They have their opinion and attitude present and accounted for.
I have had some time to reflect on the whole 'it' thing, and quite honestly, I am still disgusted and perplexed at the same time. Like I said earlier, if I was privy to the first 'it' conversation, then I would know exactly what 'it' is. However, I was not, so I am left pondering and searching for 'it'. My searching and pondering has opened a sort of Pandora's box for me. And I do not like Pandora's box, because you never know what you are going to find, and usually it is not good. Well, this whole 'it' thing had been one that has resulted in good conversation, and heated ones at times. I have found that 'it' touches on several nerves. Now if 'it' is touching on a nerve, 'it' must be hitting a spot of heated contention and debate. Does the person with whom 'it' is a hot topic really understand 'it'? Or, have they twisted, contrived and diluted 'it' to fit into their own personal agenda? And when challenged about 'it', when they know how diluted their 'it' is, they become defensive and maladjusted. They act out in ways that are inappropriate and ungodly.
I have had time to reflect and to observe. Something I like to do is watch and listen to the people around me. I discovered that the 'it' in question is not about God, 'it' is about themselves. They are trying so hard to disguise their 'it' and put a Godly label on 'it', that they have forgotten what the original 'it' is. Their 'it' has become so engulfed and entrenched with their own ideals, opinions and attitudes, that 'it' is no longer recognizable. They have become so focused on pushing their 'it' onto someone else, to get them to bow to their pressure and ideals, that they have forgotten their real reason for being here in the first place.
Simply put, we are here to glorify God. Simple in words, difficult in practice and theory. We may try, at times, to glorify God, but we fall short. We start of with good intentions and then we begin to fall away, we become proud and self-sufficient. We begin to think that we have it all figured out and go on our own, leaving behind the reason for all that we do. We have become that which we have been trying to battle and defeat.
A few years ago, I saw a great saying on a billboard. It said " You must be the change that you want to see." Yes, it all starts with me. Self-centered, yes. God-centered, yes. How can it be both? Well, we need to search ourselves and look at our own intentions and reasons for doing what we do, for our 'it'. Are we trying to change those around us so we do not need to change, so we do not need to face our own issues? Are we trying to do the right thing, follow God's will for us and for our lives? How do you know the difference? By going to God, asking for His will for your life and the knowledge and courage to carry out His will. But how will I know? It takes not only the time to ask, it also takes the time to listen. Yes, listen. To pause and listen. Take a breath, slow down and stop for a moment so you can listen. Turn off the cell phone, log out of Facebook, turn off the television, put down all of the distractions around you and find that one place you can go to, the place where you can find peace. This is where you will hear God. And God will let you know His will and He will give you the courage to carry it out. God will give you the real 'it'.
And now I am beginning to see a whole other 'it'. An 'it' that involves one's personal attitude and opinion. So, when being told to bring 'it', they do. They have their opinion and attitude present and accounted for.
I have had some time to reflect on the whole 'it' thing, and quite honestly, I am still disgusted and perplexed at the same time. Like I said earlier, if I was privy to the first 'it' conversation, then I would know exactly what 'it' is. However, I was not, so I am left pondering and searching for 'it'. My searching and pondering has opened a sort of Pandora's box for me. And I do not like Pandora's box, because you never know what you are going to find, and usually it is not good. Well, this whole 'it' thing had been one that has resulted in good conversation, and heated ones at times. I have found that 'it' touches on several nerves. Now if 'it' is touching on a nerve, 'it' must be hitting a spot of heated contention and debate. Does the person with whom 'it' is a hot topic really understand 'it'? Or, have they twisted, contrived and diluted 'it' to fit into their own personal agenda? And when challenged about 'it', when they know how diluted their 'it' is, they become defensive and maladjusted. They act out in ways that are inappropriate and ungodly.
I have had time to reflect and to observe. Something I like to do is watch and listen to the people around me. I discovered that the 'it' in question is not about God, 'it' is about themselves. They are trying so hard to disguise their 'it' and put a Godly label on 'it', that they have forgotten what the original 'it' is. Their 'it' has become so engulfed and entrenched with their own ideals, opinions and attitudes, that 'it' is no longer recognizable. They have become so focused on pushing their 'it' onto someone else, to get them to bow to their pressure and ideals, that they have forgotten their real reason for being here in the first place.
Simply put, we are here to glorify God. Simple in words, difficult in practice and theory. We may try, at times, to glorify God, but we fall short. We start of with good intentions and then we begin to fall away, we become proud and self-sufficient. We begin to think that we have it all figured out and go on our own, leaving behind the reason for all that we do. We have become that which we have been trying to battle and defeat.
A few years ago, I saw a great saying on a billboard. It said " You must be the change that you want to see." Yes, it all starts with me. Self-centered, yes. God-centered, yes. How can it be both? Well, we need to search ourselves and look at our own intentions and reasons for doing what we do, for our 'it'. Are we trying to change those around us so we do not need to change, so we do not need to face our own issues? Are we trying to do the right thing, follow God's will for us and for our lives? How do you know the difference? By going to God, asking for His will for your life and the knowledge and courage to carry out His will. But how will I know? It takes not only the time to ask, it also takes the time to listen. Yes, listen. To pause and listen. Take a breath, slow down and stop for a moment so you can listen. Turn off the cell phone, log out of Facebook, turn off the television, put down all of the distractions around you and find that one place you can go to, the place where you can find peace. This is where you will hear God. And God will let you know His will and He will give you the courage to carry it out. God will give you the real 'it'.
Tuesday, May 19, 2009
What would happen if.....?
As I was cleaning out an old briefcase, I came across this piece of paper with the following written on it:
What would happen if all Christians lived in the fullness of the Holy Spirit?
So, that got me thinking, what would happen? What would the world look like? What would it feel like? It would be like the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5-7. It is well worth reading, digesting, knowing, and most of all, living.
I know, there are a myriad of excuses for not being able to live as Christ commanded us to live. Think about this. We are able to live abundantly today because of the sacrifice that Christ made. He made this sacrifice for you and for me. He died on a cross, He was beaten, scorn, and shamed, all for us. I think of the scene in The Passion when Christ was being beaten, and it gives me chills. I've seen the movie only once, yet I already knew every scene. I already knew that Jesus Christ died for me, that He was beaten, scorn and shamed, for me. Knowing all of this, how can I make any excuse for not living as He has commanded me to? How He has told me to live? How He has called me to live? How can I be so selfish, self-centered and egotistical? How can I? How can you?
Once again, the myriad of excuses comes into play. They come to stake their claim. They give a good argument and put up a good fight. Yet, they all seem to fall short, very short. They mislead you into believing that you can do it on your own. Who gave you the ability, the talent? They mislead you into thinking that you are a rock, a pillar, that you have all of the strength and courage you need to stand on your own. Who gave you that strength and courage?
Life is already difficult. We have made it more so. We over analyze, over theorize, over everything. We think that the way it was done can be done better. We think too much, we analyze, deduce, reduce everything we do.
What would happen if all Christians lived in the fullness of the Holy Spirit?
So, that got me thinking, what would happen? What would the world look like? What would it feel like? It would be like the Sermon on the Mount, Matthew 5-7. It is well worth reading, digesting, knowing, and most of all, living.
I know, there are a myriad of excuses for not being able to live as Christ commanded us to live. Think about this. We are able to live abundantly today because of the sacrifice that Christ made. He made this sacrifice for you and for me. He died on a cross, He was beaten, scorn, and shamed, all for us. I think of the scene in The Passion when Christ was being beaten, and it gives me chills. I've seen the movie only once, yet I already knew every scene. I already knew that Jesus Christ died for me, that He was beaten, scorn and shamed, for me. Knowing all of this, how can I make any excuse for not living as He has commanded me to? How He has told me to live? How He has called me to live? How can I be so selfish, self-centered and egotistical? How can I? How can you?
Once again, the myriad of excuses comes into play. They come to stake their claim. They give a good argument and put up a good fight. Yet, they all seem to fall short, very short. They mislead you into believing that you can do it on your own. Who gave you the ability, the talent? They mislead you into thinking that you are a rock, a pillar, that you have all of the strength and courage you need to stand on your own. Who gave you that strength and courage?
Life is already difficult. We have made it more so. We over analyze, over theorize, over everything. We think that the way it was done can be done better. We think too much, we analyze, deduce, reduce everything we do.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Missing Mom
July 9, 1997 is a day that will forever be ingrained into my memory. It started as many mornings had for the past few weeks, checking in with my mom to see how she was doing. This day was different. I knew that her final days were here. But, even knowing this, I was not prepared for the words that I heard. When I called, her sister answered and said that she was not doing good and that I needed to get there right away. This was at 8:30 in the morning. Over the next few hours, I watched my mom lay peacefully in her bed, by the windows overlooking the lake. She had this look of contentment and happiness. She knew she was going home and that her battles here on earth were soon to end. Even in the middle of one of my biggest tragedies, I was witnessing one of God's miracles.
At 12:15 my dad arrived at her house. (Yes, they were divorced and got along better apart than together.) My mom waited for my dad to arrive, to know that her children would be protected, that their father was there for them. After she heard his voice, she went home. I will forever remember the peace and smile on her face. She was beautiful, she is beautiful.
As I mentioned, I was witnessing God's miracle here. I know this with every fiber of my body. About 15 minutes after she died, her two dogs (which were quite crazy and unruly) and her cat, were all sitting next to the chair by her bed, looking up at the same location, following, in unison. She was saying goodbye.
Over the years, I have had moments that are unexplainable. I have had moments when I know that she is here. She will always be with me, alive in my heart and my memory. She shaped who I am today and supported me unconditionally (even thought I did not come to know this until shortly before her death). She loved me for who I am, not who she expected me to be. She admitted her mistakes with me and our relationship grew stronger and more open. She was my mom and my best friend.
This Mother's Day, I am having a hard time. So, I have decided that I am going to her grave, to introduce my son to her. She would have loved my son more than her own kids and he would be so very spoiled. She did not get the chance to hold him, to embrace him and bestow him with love that only she could give. I know it will be an emotional day.
At 12:15 my dad arrived at her house. (Yes, they were divorced and got along better apart than together.) My mom waited for my dad to arrive, to know that her children would be protected, that their father was there for them. After she heard his voice, she went home. I will forever remember the peace and smile on her face. She was beautiful, she is beautiful.
As I mentioned, I was witnessing God's miracle here. I know this with every fiber of my body. About 15 minutes after she died, her two dogs (which were quite crazy and unruly) and her cat, were all sitting next to the chair by her bed, looking up at the same location, following, in unison. She was saying goodbye.
Over the years, I have had moments that are unexplainable. I have had moments when I know that she is here. She will always be with me, alive in my heart and my memory. She shaped who I am today and supported me unconditionally (even thought I did not come to know this until shortly before her death). She loved me for who I am, not who she expected me to be. She admitted her mistakes with me and our relationship grew stronger and more open. She was my mom and my best friend.
This Mother's Day, I am having a hard time. So, I have decided that I am going to her grave, to introduce my son to her. She would have loved my son more than her own kids and he would be so very spoiled. She did not get the chance to hold him, to embrace him and bestow him with love that only she could give. I know it will be an emotional day.
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