Carelessness

Okay, I've been struggling. Then again, who is not right now? We are all in the midst of some struggle and each of us has our own ways of dealing with it.
As I was reading yesterday, I came across a statement, well, more like a whole chapter, that made me stop in my tracks. I read and re-read, over and over. It finally hit me and I could not shake how it made me feel. It was in regard to our carelessness with sin. We think we can compartmentalize our sin. And when it comes to the small sin, we really do not take the time to consider the true consequences that we will one day face. All sin that we commit is building and accruing and one day we will have to pay the price for it. And the consequences, I do not want to think about.
It was referring to hidden sin, our sinful thoughts and desires. And then went on to talk about the desires of the flesh. And how the enemy, Satan, will disguise these desires as righteous and godly. After all, Satan in crouching at the door, waiting for the opportunity to pounce. Have you ever noticed that after a great spiritual victory, when you are at the spiritual mountaintop, you encounter great adversity? Yeah, that is Satan, just waiting.
Hidden sin got me to thinking, what am I hiding? What am I hiding behind? Once again, looking upon oneself is not easy and takes great strength and courage. It takes Godly wisdom and will. If I were to say that I never think a bad thought, what a lie that would be. Remember that guy who cut me off in traffic, well, there goes one thought. Or the person who blatantly lied about me to further themselves for the moment. Yeah, there goes another one. Or the person who so rudely cut me off in the grocery store, or the person who tried to run my son over with their shopping cart, or the person who went out of their way to speak poorly and degrade of me, while I was standing there? Okay, I think you get the picture. Some of these I can let go, others, I struggle with.
Then there are other sins, the ones not seen on the outside. The hidden thoughts that go through my mind when I least expect it. The ones that try to coax me into doing something that I know is so wrong and against the word of God and His will for my life. Trying to suppress these can be difficult, as the enemy knows my weaknesses and will prey on them. He, Satan, goes for a toehold. He knows that once he has that, it is easier to move on into a foothold and then a stronghold. This is where I need to pray for God's discernment for my life and follow His will and His word. Is it easy? No, not really. It requires discipline and patience. It requires listening and waiting. Some of these I am not really good at.
Which then begs the question, how do I know when it is God's will for me? How do I know when to act? Does God come to me and say "Okay, now you can move forward"? Sometimes. Have you ever had the phone ring and it was someone you have not talked to in some time or run into an old friend? These are not coincidence. This is God working in your life, exercising His will for your life. That old friend has been where you are and offers words of encouragement. What about when you are hurting, perhaps from the loss of a loved one? All of those people who show up at the funeral to offer a kind word or a gentle hug. Yeah, that is God there with you, letting you know that He is with you, that He cares for you, that He has not forsaken you.
I know, out of the moment, it is easier to identify. When you are in the thick of it, you overlook these 'incidents'. I know that I have and I do. God is steering my life, putting people in my path for a reason. They may be there just for a brief time or stay for a lifetime. They are there to help me and perhaps I am there to help them. It is not always about me. When I am told that I have helped or inspired, I am surprised, often times shocked. Me? I've inspired you? How? Why? When? You see, you never know when or where it will happen. It just does.
So here I go, digressing from what I originally was trying to put into words. Carelessness with sin. We all need to examine our lives, put an end to our denial and turn to God. Turn to God with repentance - saying "Lord, I want to come clean. I want to live my life according to your will. I want to turn from my sin, the sin that is open and confessed and the sin hiding within. I want to turn my obedience to you Lord. And Lord, I cannot do this without You. Please help me to keep my eyes on you Lord during my times of trial and temptation. Lord, give me the strength and power to do this. I know that You are the only one who can do this!!"
We can do this quietly, or we can shout it out. Either way, we need to do this. I need to do this. And I need to do this every day - not just when I feel I should or out of guilt. It is amazing how God will work in you when you turn to Him for the knowledge and will for your life.

"Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, taking one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen"
-Prayer for Serenity, Reinhold Niebuhr